A new semester starting, a new beginning where you live your life for the next several months with the same timings everyday, the same routine. It can be very easy for people who live by the standards of most people, that is, following the trends and the ways of the majority as it is logical for them that; this is the right way to go about.
Fortunately not me, as I've learned throughout my experiences is that life is what we make of it, and not what other people decide for us to be life. I can't disagree that in some contexts, it is mostly better to follow the mass crowd but when it concerns your life and the way you live, I think you can decide that on your own if you are not in any ways neglecting the social norms which would eventually turn you in a social outcast if you persist.
- Why going for therapy, when blogging is free :)
The greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing
As the quote stated: "Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.. " No one can deny the fact that we are living a life which has no sorrows or pain in it. The best we can do is to make the best out of this life. I keep pondering what I am doing with my life. It is not strange for a guy to constantly nave to try to figure out what He is trying to do because as you go down the path of life, doors that you never expected to be there will be opening to you till the point that you get stucked in the middle without any clue of which door to get in..
A sense of uncertainty, hesitating and fear of being wrong overcomes you like darkness overcomes the sunrays at dusk. And We keep hoping that someone will come down the road with a lantern to help guide us to the path that we should take but in vain. Here we are, left in the darkness all alone with no idea what should we do, which door should we open, is it the right one or the wrong one? Who knows.....
A sense of uncertainty, hesitating and fear of being wrong overcomes you like darkness overcomes the sunrays at dusk. And We keep hoping that someone will come down the road with a lantern to help guide us to the path that we should take but in vain. Here we are, left in the darkness all alone with no idea what should we do, which door should we open, is it the right one or the wrong one? Who knows.....
Sweet Sour OR Bitter Sweet?
Life is yet another place where we live and enjoy life, but of course, there are some limitations or rather obstacles that make us not capable to enjoy life to its fullest. We are human beings; born at a point and one thing we are sure and certain about in this life is that we will die at some point later on. Due to this, we are limited in knowledge and experiences. And We us to realise this limitation is very hard as we are known to be the best creatures in this universe, but luckily there's a way to discover this limitation is when you encounter a problem where you go through all the encyclopedias & dictionnaries of life & love but you return empty-handed with no solution or answers. Today I've decided to blog because I'm fighting with myself from within. It is easy to fight with someone else where you can burst out your anger, sorrows and frustrations out to him but it is a nightmare when you are fighting with yourself as you always end up being more frustrated.
These past two weeks were very troublesome in aspects of loneliness and my addiction to coffee.. **Smirk**.. I've not been lonely in life as I've always surrounded myself with my desires and fantasies even though I'm not that much of a social animal. But as we know, there is a limit to everything, even chasing dreams and desires. There is a point where we can not take it anymore and we just have to cut it off or you will just burst out hurting yourself and other people who care about you.
I've not quite finished with the emotional part of these two weeks but sometimes, emotions are better kept inside rather that being said as it can create more damages if told. Hence let's move on to the sarcastical fun part of my alter ego =).
These past two weeks were very troublesome in aspects of loneliness and my addiction to coffee.. **Smirk**.. I've not been lonely in life as I've always surrounded myself with my desires and fantasies even though I'm not that much of a social animal. But as we know, there is a limit to everything, even chasing dreams and desires. There is a point where we can not take it anymore and we just have to cut it off or you will just burst out hurting yourself and other people who care about you.
I've not quite finished with the emotional part of these two weeks but sometimes, emotions are better kept inside rather that being said as it can create more damages if told. Hence let's move on to the sarcastical fun part of my alter ego =).
Wondering Who's Got The Action Again?
Bored again, hence blogging a bit to take out the inner stress. You guys already know that life isn't that wonderful for me right now, I don't know but something really fishy must be missing as I'm feeling extremely drained and sleepy. No matter how much caffeine I'm engulfing in this body of mine, I end up sleeping. It seemed that my bed and me have become best buddies lately.
Today I went for a meeting at ISD for the coming Eid program, and guess what? I ended up with the special task role, designing posters-banners etc.. Duh who said guys can't be creative enough,huh? Now I'm stuck with a Tuesday deadline to submit these and I've another meeting for a seminar on Monday. Right now I am feeling the urge of running away with all these stress and go hide in a chalet where no one can find me. But wait a second!!?
Isn't it me who's putting me in such stressful schedule? On top I've to run my ass red during rugby training.. Pfff soo much responsibilities at such a young age will make my arteries burst sooner or later. Well I would advice myself to slow down but somehow I'm a very stubborn guy. Having a stressful schedule and life is becoming so boring and just like a military routine doesn't combine with a nomadic guy like me, i mean for the meantime. Hell I want to get a job and start earning some real bucks like before! Fate doesn't smile at you all the time so you need to learn about realities the hard ways. Guess the only moment I feel relaxed is when I'm listening to "Painted Memories" and trying to grind the song from my acoustic guitar. Don't ask me, I'm no good but it makes me happy hearing my roomates shouting after every 5mins :"Shut the fuck up dude"! " Go play your rattle drum outside".
Today I went for a meeting at ISD for the coming Eid program, and guess what? I ended up with the special task role, designing posters-banners etc.. Duh who said guys can't be creative enough,huh? Now I'm stuck with a Tuesday deadline to submit these and I've another meeting for a seminar on Monday. Right now I am feeling the urge of running away with all these stress and go hide in a chalet where no one can find me. But wait a second!!?
Isn't it me who's putting me in such stressful schedule? On top I've to run my ass red during rugby training.. Pfff soo much responsibilities at such a young age will make my arteries burst sooner or later. Well I would advice myself to slow down but somehow I'm a very stubborn guy. Having a stressful schedule and life is becoming so boring and just like a military routine doesn't combine with a nomadic guy like me, i mean for the meantime. Hell I want to get a job and start earning some real bucks like before! Fate doesn't smile at you all the time so you need to learn about realities the hard ways. Guess the only moment I feel relaxed is when I'm listening to "Painted Memories" and trying to grind the song from my acoustic guitar. Don't ask me, I'm no good but it makes me happy hearing my roomates shouting after every 5mins :"Shut the fuck up dude"! " Go play your rattle drum outside".
Let's not complicate life too much...
Hola peepz,
its been a very long time, nearly one month since I blogged the last time, well I've been very busy with different university based programs and other stuffs that I got entangled in. Life has been good to me and what about you guys?! A new semester has just begun and I've been stuck doing manual registration and changing my program from Islamic Revealed Knowlegde to Human sciences which luckily I've been able to yesterday and trust me, this week has been a hell of a week and a real pain in the butt and I'm happy its over.
I've finally decided to go to gym regularly, time to boost up these muscles and I've joined the japanese martial art Aikido, don't ask me why I did so. Maybe I thought it was good enough to waste my time on :). Nah in fact I'm just looking for stuffs to fill up my schedule given that having free time makes me feel bored and I don't want to be bored, rather I'm fedup of it!
But there is another thing that is right now nagging me, all my classes starting at 8a.m and given that I can't sleep before 4a.m, it is very difficult for me to wake up even though I've put 16 alarms on two different mobiles, I managed to oversleep for the past two days missing the morning classes. It is as if am fighting a real world war 4 with myself every morning, but guess I need to look for another remedy for that yaay!! Insha Allah I'll try to be serious for the coming months and we'll see where I'll ended in November and yup I'll strive to get all As this semester so you all pray for me. Thanks
I take your leave now, as I feel the sleep coming to bug me again, so i'll go take a walk around campus =)
Take care and be safe.. Talk to you all soon! :)
Best Birthday Wish I got + The Coating Picture! =)
I decided to post one of the many wishes I liked when I check my inbox saturday night and the most funny part of it was the picture that goes with it. Thank you very much to Anna for this aweful picture, damn I didn't know you actually got some real problems in choosing pictures! haha but anyway the effort is very much appreciated! TQ a lot, here it goes:
Instead of counting candles,
Or tallying the years,
Contemplate your blessings now,
As your birthday nears.
Consider special people
Who love you, and who care,
And others who’ve enriched your life
Just by being there.
Think about the memories
Passing years can never mar,
Experiences great and small
That have made you who you are.
Another year is a happy gift,
So cut your cake, and say,
"Instead of counting birthdays,
I count blessings every day!"
The Milestone of 21 is over...
Hey pals, how are you all keeping? I hope just as great as I am doing, well I'm seizing some free times between class to blog a bit given that I really do not have anything interesting to do. As most of you all must know that last saturday[6th June] was my birthday, yea yea am Gemini, and thank you very much for those sarcastic emails, I really do appreciate the wishes. So where was i? Yup finally I've move up the milestone of 21 to 22 years old and you will be surprise to hear that, it still sucks! lol
I really do not know what I am doing in this university, it is extremely boring and nothing interesting every happen here except that you can catch some gay couples doing themselves in the room. Anyhow I really miss my previous university where life was rocking, all these illegal races, night life were amazing. You feel like you are living and have an aim to look forward everyday, that is, breaking the hostel's curfew and party till the morning! haha, I think since our gang got dispelled after those problems, I am planning to do a get-together soon, either in Malaysia or Dubai, so please princes & princesses of chaos, please contact me if you will be able to make it. I am very much sure that Feisal won't be able to make it as his wife is expecting but what the heck, we'll enjoy on his behalf! So guys go quickly to compose email & send your answer to me asap.
Anyway as I said before, UIA is damn boring and the chicks in here, i.e, most of them.. Gosh gimme a break!!! lol most of them think they are the centre of the world, and I've not met anyone yet who goes to the criterias the chaotic gang looks for... Well yea maybe I met one, just recently, I knew her from before, but not on personal basis, it was just through the "window shopping" that guys do with their eyes...hehe lol no more comments about that! I'm looking forward to know her more soon, because she seemed quite chaotically eligible! haha and on top of that, she's awesomely weird and guess what? I liiiiikeee!!! :P
So pals, guess the time isn't passing as quick as it was supposed to be, and I have got still 2hours to go, so I'll take your leave, got some other blogs to update. Ciau and live on till we meet again.Sayonara :)
I really do not know what I am doing in this university, it is extremely boring and nothing interesting every happen here except that you can catch some gay couples doing themselves in the room. Anyhow I really miss my previous university where life was rocking, all these illegal races, night life were amazing. You feel like you are living and have an aim to look forward everyday, that is, breaking the hostel's curfew and party till the morning! haha, I think since our gang got dispelled after those problems, I am planning to do a get-together soon, either in Malaysia or Dubai, so please princes & princesses of chaos, please contact me if you will be able to make it. I am very much sure that Feisal won't be able to make it as his wife is expecting but what the heck, we'll enjoy on his behalf! So guys go quickly to compose email & send your answer to me asap.
Anyway as I said before, UIA is damn boring and the chicks in here, i.e, most of them.. Gosh gimme a break!!! lol most of them think they are the centre of the world, and I've not met anyone yet who goes to the criterias the chaotic gang looks for... Well yea maybe I met one, just recently, I knew her from before, but not on personal basis, it was just through the "window shopping" that guys do with their eyes...hehe lol no more comments about that! I'm looking forward to know her more soon, because she seemed quite chaotically eligible! haha and on top of that, she's awesomely weird and guess what? I liiiiikeee!!! :P
Why Best Friends Are Better Than BF/GF!??
1. You don’t have to call them every day, just to let them know you’re not fighting
2. You don’t have an anniversary–you just sort of “became” best friends.
3. When someone calls your girlfriend/boyfriend your “partner” it makes you think of marriage. When they call your best friend your partner, it’s more like cops.
4. You never have to touch your best friend when it’s hot outside, but you can still huddle close when it’s freezing.
5. Your parents usually like your best friend.
6. Your best friend doesn’t care if you get fat, you’re ugly, or if you get a bard haircut.
7. You don’t have to get jealous of “girls only” night or “guys only” night — You’re part of it!
8. You can laugh at your best friend with no consequences.
9. You can burp/fart in front of your best friend on any occasion.
10. You can plan on still having a relationship with your best friend in 20 years.
11. Never in your life will you need “space” from your best friend.
12. Your best friend won’t be mad if you want some time alone, and will only ask you “what’s wrong?” once.
13. Your best friend is someone you get in trouble with; your boyfriend/girlfriend is someone you get in trouble with if you get in trouble.
14. You don’t have to get dressed up to go anywhere with your best friend.
15. You’re allowed to have multiple best friends.
16. No one ever spreads rumors or talks about you and your best friend’s relationship.
17. Borrowing any amount of money from your best friend is okay, no questions asked.
18. Your best friend will never refer to you as “the ball and chain,” “the old lady/man,” or “the whip.”
19. No one is ever trying to fix you up on blind dates for a new best friend.
20. It doesn’t matter what your “other” friends think about your best friend.
21. Your best friend is the first person you call when you get a new boyfriend/girlfriend, and when you break up with them.
2. You don’t have an anniversary–you just sort of “became” best friends.
3. When someone calls your girlfriend/boyfriend your “partner” it makes you think of marriage. When they call your best friend your partner, it’s more like cops.
4. You never have to touch your best friend when it’s hot outside, but you can still huddle close when it’s freezing.
5. Your parents usually like your best friend.
6. Your best friend doesn’t care if you get fat, you’re ugly, or if you get a bard haircut.
7. You don’t have to get jealous of “girls only” night or “guys only” night — You’re part of it!
8. You can laugh at your best friend with no consequences.
9. You can burp/fart in front of your best friend on any occasion.
10. You can plan on still having a relationship with your best friend in 20 years.
11. Never in your life will you need “space” from your best friend.
12. Your best friend won’t be mad if you want some time alone, and will only ask you “what’s wrong?” once.
13. Your best friend is someone you get in trouble with; your boyfriend/girlfriend is someone you get in trouble with if you get in trouble.
14. You don’t have to get dressed up to go anywhere with your best friend.
15. You’re allowed to have multiple best friends.
16. No one ever spreads rumors or talks about you and your best friend’s relationship.
17. Borrowing any amount of money from your best friend is okay, no questions asked.
18. Your best friend will never refer to you as “the ball and chain,” “the old lady/man,” or “the whip.”
19. No one is ever trying to fix you up on blind dates for a new best friend.
20. It doesn’t matter what your “other” friends think about your best friend.
21. Your best friend is the first person you call when you get a new boyfriend/girlfriend, and when you break up with them.
Staying in Love...Can You?
Attraction may not be a choice, but love is. Love is a choice. Its a conscious choice that involves someone getting rid of the clutter in their own mind. As that IS what ends up happening too. Clutter over the other person's insecurities, or bad habits, or odd behaviours, or poor choices, or unattractive qualities, etc. It gets all up there and makes it harder and harder and harder to ever want to continue on loving. Why? Why bother? There's others out there who can meet what I feel is lacking, so why go on?
It may not be easy, it may be hard, but its a choice you make. You can open up with love or close down and in on yourself. I find that attachment to trivial things is what makes love hard and dissociation what makes love so easy. Why get attached to this world? Why? Everyone knows we don't have the infinite amount of time we'd all like to have and either our actions and choices gets rid of them or nature does. Its a cynical, gruesome way to put it and yet it speaks a lot of truth. That's why at the end of it all, we have the choice to love and its only as hard as you make it.
Quoting what Nasiha said in her previous email:"I am actually nervous about terms like "falling in/out love", and "true love" to be honest, because I think they are so loaded with emotion and false expectation romantic movie BS, and they are also felt so differently by different people --is so bang on." Well You might be surprise Nasiha but I totally agree with you, it is simply because he respects you for what you are, he accepts you for what you are, he doesnt try to change you to fit what he thinks to be an ideal girl, rather he change his principles to fit you inside, he treats you well, he loves you with his whole heart, he becomes your best friend, talks to you openly. It took me awhile to realize that the girls I had fallen for in the past --- girls who didn't want committment, who treated me just like a sex-machine,who used me --- were not true loves, no matter how much of a rush there was there. Those feelings of true love had the resemblance of movie portraits of romantic love. For me, it was completely unhealthy, and I'm still working on changing my perception of what real love is. I didn't feel quite that same rush with my previous gf, but I'm convinced it's because there was an ease and stability to us right from the beginning, a peacefulness I never had in other relationship. She didn't play games, didn't do whatever she felt she needed to to get me. She just wanted me, right from the start. For me, the rush tended to be there when the drama was there. I've had to learn that love doesn't need drama in order to thrive. Wherever there is a drama, there is something fishy around here, I got to learn it the hard way and it is engraved in my mind, heart and soul.
Sorry I'm rambling, I think I've gone off topic. I just wanted to put in my 2 cents concerning that and another aspect that people has a strong misconception is infatuation. I'm glad Michael brought up infatuation. Because many usually mix this up with true love. I don't like saying "I'm falling in love" because I view love as a clearheaded, rational thing. In love is truth, understanding, respect, etc. Love is not obsessiveness; love is not a lack of self respect, nor a lack of self altogether. One must truly love their own self, before they can truly love others. Not in a total selfish way, of course. Selfishness is a lack of regard for others, while concentrating solely on your own wants above others. Loving yourself is respecting yourself, caring about yourself, understanding yourself. If you do this, you're in a good place to then share yourself with others.
Falling is a mistake. Walking is done by choice. So, walk in to love someone, over time!
If you've just met the person, and think you've fallen in love with them, it's most likely infatuation, and not true love. I strongly believe real love is grown over time, like a tree. It needs to be watered, have the Sun shining on it daily. Over time, it'll grow to be mature, rooted and grounded firmly in the soil. True love doesn't come on a whiff like that, it always starts with infatuation and you need to keep working it to see that you really are connected to that person in such a way that she really fills up that emptiness inside you but be careful, do not get commit yourself right now, water it and let the sun shine on it till you are sure and certain in case it is just another drama.
So be careful friends as there are lots out there who give themselves fully but there are some who are just around here to play poker, and they will come to sweep you off your feet, and turn that ice-hearted of yours, but we shouldn't forget, every relationship that is started on lies and dramas aren't for a long time, it will end up sooner that you expect and you will end up being more hurt as you thought that was where you were moving on with life but instead you've just hit a wall again and you were used again! So Keep yourself focus and think with your head and not that pumping blood mass inside that we call heart as it will always make you end in trouble. Now don't tell me you want trouble to be your soulmate ya?!
It may not be easy, it may be hard, but its a choice you make. You can open up with love or close down and in on yourself. I find that attachment to trivial things is what makes love hard and dissociation what makes love so easy. Why get attached to this world? Why? Everyone knows we don't have the infinite amount of time we'd all like to have and either our actions and choices gets rid of them or nature does. Its a cynical, gruesome way to put it and yet it speaks a lot of truth. That's why at the end of it all, we have the choice to love and its only as hard as you make it.
Quoting what Nasiha said in her previous email:"I am actually nervous about terms like "falling in/out love", and "true love" to be honest, because I think they are so loaded with emotion and false expectation romantic movie BS, and they are also felt so differently by different people --is so bang on." Well You might be surprise Nasiha but I totally agree with you, it is simply because he respects you for what you are, he accepts you for what you are, he doesnt try to change you to fit what he thinks to be an ideal girl, rather he change his principles to fit you inside, he treats you well, he loves you with his whole heart, he becomes your best friend, talks to you openly. It took me awhile to realize that the girls I had fallen for in the past --- girls who didn't want committment, who treated me just like a sex-machine,who used me --- were not true loves, no matter how much of a rush there was there. Those feelings of true love had the resemblance of movie portraits of romantic love. For me, it was completely unhealthy, and I'm still working on changing my perception of what real love is. I didn't feel quite that same rush with my previous gf, but I'm convinced it's because there was an ease and stability to us right from the beginning, a peacefulness I never had in other relationship. She didn't play games, didn't do whatever she felt she needed to to get me. She just wanted me, right from the start. For me, the rush tended to be there when the drama was there. I've had to learn that love doesn't need drama in order to thrive. Wherever there is a drama, there is something fishy around here, I got to learn it the hard way and it is engraved in my mind, heart and soul.
Sorry I'm rambling, I think I've gone off topic. I just wanted to put in my 2 cents concerning that and another aspect that people has a strong misconception is infatuation. I'm glad Michael brought up infatuation. Because many usually mix this up with true love. I don't like saying "I'm falling in love" because I view love as a clearheaded, rational thing. In love is truth, understanding, respect, etc. Love is not obsessiveness; love is not a lack of self respect, nor a lack of self altogether. One must truly love their own self, before they can truly love others. Not in a total selfish way, of course. Selfishness is a lack of regard for others, while concentrating solely on your own wants above others. Loving yourself is respecting yourself, caring about yourself, understanding yourself. If you do this, you're in a good place to then share yourself with others.
Falling is a mistake. Walking is done by choice. So, walk in to love someone, over time!
If you've just met the person, and think you've fallen in love with them, it's most likely infatuation, and not true love. I strongly believe real love is grown over time, like a tree. It needs to be watered, have the Sun shining on it daily. Over time, it'll grow to be mature, rooted and grounded firmly in the soil. True love doesn't come on a whiff like that, it always starts with infatuation and you need to keep working it to see that you really are connected to that person in such a way that she really fills up that emptiness inside you but be careful, do not get commit yourself right now, water it and let the sun shine on it till you are sure and certain in case it is just another drama.
So be careful friends as there are lots out there who give themselves fully but there are some who are just around here to play poker, and they will come to sweep you off your feet, and turn that ice-hearted of yours, but we shouldn't forget, every relationship that is started on lies and dramas aren't for a long time, it will end up sooner that you expect and you will end up being more hurt as you thought that was where you were moving on with life but instead you've just hit a wall again and you were used again! So Keep yourself focus and think with your head and not that pumping blood mass inside that we call heart as it will always make you end in trouble. Now don't tell me you want trouble to be your soulmate ya?!
Life compared to a roller coaster
On the other hand, let some outside stress come into life, something we didn't pay for, and suddenly the world is coming to an end. Since everyone says we can't have stress, or at least not the kind we don't pay for, then we must have a fix.
"Doctor just give me a vacation, some place warm please." "Can't do that? Well -- maybe a pill? A drink?"
How come we can be so brave and tough on the roller coaster and be so whimsy and whinny when the boss wants the job done by five? Actually, I've done a done a little thinking on this matter (Some of you stop laughing right now!). I think I have come up with four simple reasons why "unpaid for" stress get us down so quickly.
First, life's stress events get us down so easily because we are not expecting them. On the roller coaster you knew when you got to the top of the hill that stress was shortly coming. No one can predict exactly when stressful event in life come but we do know they will. A life that is "prayed up" and in touch with God is prepared when those stress related moments come. God's safety straps of love help you hold on and you of his care. The closer you are to Him the easier it is to hold on.
Next, we doubt or forget the security and safety of the Lord. When some youth from my previous gang talks me into riding one of those silly rides, I do so only because I believe that they are somewhat safe. You would never get anyone, with any sense, to ride one of those things it they thought they might really die. When life sends us through the loop, it is assuring to know God is with you all the way. We get stressed out when we forget that we can depend on the security and protection of the Lord.
Another reason the amusement ride is fun and normal everyday stress events drain us is because we lose sight of the end. No matter how high the hill, no matter how fast the ride, no matter how many loops, the roller coaster ride has the glorious end when you can stop and get out. The knowledge that there is an end has helped me through many a tough ride in life. Focus of the simple truth that what every event has an end.
Lastly, but perhaps the single greatest reason we get stressed in everyday life but survive and enjoy the stress of riding "The Wild Thing," is our mindset. We go to an amusement park with the full intention of riding the rides for the thrill of it. We make it fun (Okay some of us do). When we view life with the mindset that this is going to be fun, suddenly stressful events aren't any more that a roller coaster ride.
Moving Forward...
"No one knows what the future holds, but you ha, ha, listen close, they say reach in yo' heart and you'll find your mind"- 2PAC
I wonder if that singer is crazy sometimes but when you reach a certain phase of your life, where everything except your skin is falling apart, you will understand how those cursing, fucking songs of his are awesome. Getting acquainted to such kind of phase is not only blissful but rather orgasmic. Such orgasms that pull you out of this sweet, smooth, and soft cocoon you have built around yourself to the sheer pleasure.. a sheer pleasure of pain that will force you to realize that life isn't a dream and you need constantly such kind of pain to make you realize that you are drifting away from your goals, you are drifting afar from what you are.
I've been receiving emails saying that dude, stop with these philosophical & psychological stuffs am writing & compiling. I nearly rofl when I read a specific one saying she's missing my melodramas of my life. How can you guys? All my other blogs are full of those craps and still you did not complain. Yep sometimes, someone's sorrows can be someone's happiness & satisfaction. But missy I don’t mean that for you anyway, I'm just saying that in general. Well the fact that I'm not writing anything these days is because I've moved on. Shocked ,uh? Don't be, when you love, you will know how to let go, specially when she is happy. Anyway this is a past chapter now, life goes on, right? Maybe just ahead the corner, there's someone meant for me. Aha na na am not getting back to my old playboy self, do not worry. I'm just thinking positively. Anyway I won't feed you any philosophical or psychological craps for today, I'm just tired of answering individual emails, so thought about telling it through the blog so you can at last find peace of mind! :) Life is going on smoothly, so sorry for not sharing anything with you for the time being, I was just busy with some works, some new friends, some new hobbies…….. Everything is a blessing in life, we do not understand its wisdom immediately..
“May God give you...For every storm a rainbow, for every tear a smile, for every care a promise and a blessing in each trial. For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share, for every sigh a sweet song and an answer for each prayer.”
I wonder if that singer is crazy sometimes but when you reach a certain phase of your life, where everything except your skin is falling apart, you will understand how those cursing, fucking songs of his are awesome. Getting acquainted to such kind of phase is not only blissful but rather orgasmic. Such orgasms that pull you out of this sweet, smooth, and soft cocoon you have built around yourself to the sheer pleasure.. a sheer pleasure of pain that will force you to realize that life isn't a dream and you need constantly such kind of pain to make you realize that you are drifting away from your goals, you are drifting afar from what you are.
I've been receiving emails saying that dude, stop with these philosophical & psychological stuffs am writing & compiling. I nearly rofl when I read a specific one saying she's missing my melodramas of my life. How can you guys? All my other blogs are full of those craps and still you did not complain. Yep sometimes, someone's sorrows can be someone's happiness & satisfaction. But missy I don’t mean that for you anyway, I'm just saying that in general. Well the fact that I'm not writing anything these days is because I've moved on. Shocked ,uh? Don't be, when you love, you will know how to let go, specially when she is happy. Anyway this is a past chapter now, life goes on, right? Maybe just ahead the corner, there's someone meant for me. Aha na na am not getting back to my old playboy self, do not worry. I'm just thinking positively. Anyway I won't feed you any philosophical or psychological craps for today, I'm just tired of answering individual emails, so thought about telling it through the blog so you can at last find peace of mind! :) Life is going on smoothly, so sorry for not sharing anything with you for the time being, I was just busy with some works, some new friends, some new hobbies…….. Everything is a blessing in life, we do not understand its wisdom immediately..
“May God give you...For every storm a rainbow, for every tear a smile, for every care a promise and a blessing in each trial. For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share, for every sigh a sweet song and an answer for each prayer.”
Do We have what we need the most in a relationship?
How ironic life can be sometimes, just came out of a meeting with some business surveys hot chicks which went pretty well and I came here sitting alone in the darkness of my room letting my mind wandering about how this world is evolving, why do we need relationships to keep our human side alive.. Guess it will always remain a mystery. Loads among you must be watching the series "Dirty Sexy Money", if not, do a must to watch it, you will understand why I am saying so if you know how to read between the lines of the script.
Anyhow I've just been staring at one its' episodes while my mind wandering around, when I suddenly came back to earth when I heard some wonderful sayings out of that episode which I'll try to reproduce from what I understood.
Whenever we fall in love, or get involve with someone romantically, there are some of sidelines that we usually look for willingly & even unwillingly as they are engraved in the human instinct of survival. Since long time ago, it is known as the mystery of a relationship, we human beings, we look for mainly 2 letters starting by "C' which I'll try to brief from what I understood and feel part of.
1. First of all, there is "Confirmation", lovers provide confirmation for each other, that is, when a person sees a shooting star or an aurora, then they need to have someone to turn to all the time, to whom to which to say: "did you see that? Did that really happen?" And in a life that is full of amazing moments, it is important to have…."confirmation"…
“When we hear news we should always wait for the sacrament of confirmation”
2. Secondly there is "Consolation", lovers provide consolation for each other when bad luck, death or… even the simple sadness of the passing beauty becomes hard to make it go on, then you have someone to turn to for a hand, for an embrace, for a kiss, for….."consolation".
“For it is the suffering flesh, it is suffering, it is death, that lovers perpetuate upon the earth. Love is at once the brother, son, and father of death, which is its sister, mother, and daughter. And thus it is that in the depth of love there is a depth of eternal despair, out of which springs hope and consolation.”
3. The last but not the least, there is "Joy", *Chuckles* it is not a "C" word, but then, what the heck… life and love is surprising most of the time.
“Though he turned the pages with the sensuous joy of the book-lover, he did not know what he was reading, and one book after another dropped from his hand. Suddenly, among them, he lit on a small volume of verse which he had ordered because the name had attracted him: "The House of Life." He took it up, and found himself plunged in an atmosphere unlike any he had ever breathed in books; so warm, so rich, and yet so tender, that it gave a new and haunting beauty to the most elementary of human passions.”
I hope you will recognize your true quests when you will read it, as a bit of wisdom and reality is a very good cocktail sometimes to boost up a roller coasting life..
Anyhow I've just been staring at one its' episodes while my mind wandering around, when I suddenly came back to earth when I heard some wonderful sayings out of that episode which I'll try to reproduce from what I understood.
Whenever we fall in love, or get involve with someone romantically, there are some of sidelines that we usually look for willingly & even unwillingly as they are engraved in the human instinct of survival. Since long time ago, it is known as the mystery of a relationship, we human beings, we look for mainly 2 letters starting by "C' which I'll try to brief from what I understood and feel part of.
1. First of all, there is "Confirmation", lovers provide confirmation for each other, that is, when a person sees a shooting star or an aurora, then they need to have someone to turn to all the time, to whom to which to say: "did you see that? Did that really happen?" And in a life that is full of amazing moments, it is important to have…."confirmation"…
“When we hear news we should always wait for the sacrament of confirmation”
2. Secondly there is "Consolation", lovers provide consolation for each other when bad luck, death or… even the simple sadness of the passing beauty becomes hard to make it go on, then you have someone to turn to for a hand, for an embrace, for a kiss, for….."consolation".
“For it is the suffering flesh, it is suffering, it is death, that lovers perpetuate upon the earth. Love is at once the brother, son, and father of death, which is its sister, mother, and daughter. And thus it is that in the depth of love there is a depth of eternal despair, out of which springs hope and consolation.”
3. The last but not the least, there is "Joy", *Chuckles* it is not a "C" word, but then, what the heck… life and love is surprising most of the time.
“Though he turned the pages with the sensuous joy of the book-lover, he did not know what he was reading, and one book after another dropped from his hand. Suddenly, among them, he lit on a small volume of verse which he had ordered because the name had attracted him: "The House of Life." He took it up, and found himself plunged in an atmosphere unlike any he had ever breathed in books; so warm, so rich, and yet so tender, that it gave a new and haunting beauty to the most elementary of human passions.”
I hope you will recognize your true quests when you will read it, as a bit of wisdom and reality is a very good cocktail sometimes to boost up a roller coasting life..
Am I living or My Life Hasn't yet Started?
Hi folks, as you know there are lots of things in my life that I am trying to mend right now, and from now on, the Faaleh you know these last few months, well I've killed him. Oh com'on do not be so surprise as if you do not know me well already. This time, it will be the old me, the dangerous me, the risk-taker me. I am tired of caring for people, I am tired of making sure they do not get hurt when they do not even care if it happens or not. So from now on, no melodrama, just me & my old good waves of inspirations.
If there is something I've learnt during those few past months, then it is how it is difficult to let go, even of someone you have just met and who has made such an impact on your life even though you've not allowed it to happen. Anyway everything happens for a good reason right, so let us be optimistic and let me give you this piece of advice; as you grow up, you will learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
Dedicated to Miss Nostalgia:
If there is something I've learnt during those few past months, then it is how it is difficult to let go, even of someone you have just met and who has made such an impact on your life even though you've not allowed it to happen. Anyway everything happens for a good reason right, so let us be optimistic and let me give you this piece of advice; as you grow up, you will learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
Over there, just beneath the moon,
There’s a man with a burden to keep,
Now sleep will fall, washouts, rags and paper bags
Homes and lives passing by.
Who will see the beauty in your life?
And who will be there to hear you when you call?
Who will see the madness in your life?
And who will be there to catch you if you fall?
Dreams run wild, as lovers find their way through the night,
Not a care in the world
And over there, oh the twinkling of the lights, harbour lights
Say goodnight one more time…
There’s a man with a burden to keep,
Now sleep will fall, washouts, rags and paper bags
Homes and lives passing by.
Who will see the beauty in your life?
And who will be there to hear you when you call?
Who will see the madness in your life?
And who will be there to catch you if you fall?
Dreams run wild, as lovers find their way through the night,
Not a care in the world
And over there, oh the twinkling of the lights, harbour lights
Say goodnight one more time…
Rational Thinking-To What Extreme?
Let me start out by saying that I deeply value and respect rational thinking. I think that rational thought is a valuable foundation for decision-making and I value the sensibility that it embodies. However, I am not entirely enamored by claims of "rational thought" and here are a few reasons why.
Rational thinking is only half the story. I have found that if a person has a strong emotional stake in an outcome, he or she usually constructs arguments to support that outcome. In the scientific literature, this is called "motivated reasoning" and a brain imaging study has shown that it activates very different brain regions from "cold reasoning". In many matters of life, motivated reasoning masquerades as cold reasoning and "rational" thought, when in fact, it is reason that is based on an emotional response. Even if people say something with a straight face and blinking eyes, this form of rational utterance often has an emotional basis. When people have an emotional stake in an outcome, I almost never consider their arguments to be "purely rational".
The brain imaging study that showed different brain activation for motivated reasoning as opposed to regions previously linked to cold reasoning, also showed that implicit and not explicit emotional centers contributed to this motivated reasoning. That is, we are not usually aware of how emotions shape our decisions, but they do. On the surface, we may be convinced that we have removed all emotion from a decision, but we cannot exclude the possibility that our unconscious emotional stake has influenced our decision. I do not believe that this is anything to be ashamed of either. Our emotions carry important information that is often critical for decision-making. Unconscious fear, for example, may help us avoid dangerous situations.
Another reason that I think that "surface rationality" is questionable is that we often make decisions based on how options are presented to us. This has been called the "framing effect". In fact, the brain can try to overcome this effect, but overcoming this often requires more time than we have. Often, past experiences strongly influence how we respond "rationally" and may also influence how we take information in, even if we develop a rational framework to explain our thought processes. Essentially, emotions and world-views powerfully affect the way in which we construct arguments. Ask a Democrat to come up with reasons for why taxes should not be cut for small business owners, or ask a homophobe to provide arguments for why gay marriage should be allowed, and you will see how difficult it is for people to think outside of their identified allegiances.
Rational thinking also often rests on "believing" what the brain sees, but there are countless examples of how our brains can trick us into thinking things. We see mirages in deserts even when there is no water. If we bring two horizontal lines in the same plane close enough together, our brains will see them and report them to us as one. Amputees can feel pain in a limb that is not present. We cannot hear dog whistles. Our "convictions" rely heavily on our senses, but our senses do not always tell us the truth. Building a rational argument based on what can be seen or heard or touched has its limitations.
Another reason that I think that "rational" thinking is not what it might appear to be is that our brains are limited in the amount of information they can take in at any one point in time. Thus, while we may feel as though we are being thorough in the way we think, we usually filter out many things so that the brain is not overwhelmed. This filtering sometimes leaves out critical aspects of rational thinking and we are far less comprehensive than we might think we are. We remember things incorrectly or forget things often as well. Our brains may make up stories that join time points to create a sense of continuity, much like how they can make two horizontal lines look like one when they are close enough.
Rational thinking may therefore not be as "rational" as it seems. Perhaps we need to learn to accept and be more open about how our emotions influence the ways in which we think, since that is the reality anyway?
Rational thinking is only half the story. I have found that if a person has a strong emotional stake in an outcome, he or she usually constructs arguments to support that outcome. In the scientific literature, this is called "motivated reasoning" and a brain imaging study has shown that it activates very different brain regions from "cold reasoning". In many matters of life, motivated reasoning masquerades as cold reasoning and "rational" thought, when in fact, it is reason that is based on an emotional response. Even if people say something with a straight face and blinking eyes, this form of rational utterance often has an emotional basis. When people have an emotional stake in an outcome, I almost never consider their arguments to be "purely rational".
The brain imaging study that showed different brain activation for motivated reasoning as opposed to regions previously linked to cold reasoning, also showed that implicit and not explicit emotional centers contributed to this motivated reasoning. That is, we are not usually aware of how emotions shape our decisions, but they do. On the surface, we may be convinced that we have removed all emotion from a decision, but we cannot exclude the possibility that our unconscious emotional stake has influenced our decision. I do not believe that this is anything to be ashamed of either. Our emotions carry important information that is often critical for decision-making. Unconscious fear, for example, may help us avoid dangerous situations.
Another reason that I think that "surface rationality" is questionable is that we often make decisions based on how options are presented to us. This has been called the "framing effect". In fact, the brain can try to overcome this effect, but overcoming this often requires more time than we have. Often, past experiences strongly influence how we respond "rationally" and may also influence how we take information in, even if we develop a rational framework to explain our thought processes. Essentially, emotions and world-views powerfully affect the way in which we construct arguments. Ask a Democrat to come up with reasons for why taxes should not be cut for small business owners, or ask a homophobe to provide arguments for why gay marriage should be allowed, and you will see how difficult it is for people to think outside of their identified allegiances.
Rational thinking also often rests on "believing" what the brain sees, but there are countless examples of how our brains can trick us into thinking things. We see mirages in deserts even when there is no water. If we bring two horizontal lines in the same plane close enough together, our brains will see them and report them to us as one. Amputees can feel pain in a limb that is not present. We cannot hear dog whistles. Our "convictions" rely heavily on our senses, but our senses do not always tell us the truth. Building a rational argument based on what can be seen or heard or touched has its limitations.
Another reason that I think that "rational" thinking is not what it might appear to be is that our brains are limited in the amount of information they can take in at any one point in time. Thus, while we may feel as though we are being thorough in the way we think, we usually filter out many things so that the brain is not overwhelmed. This filtering sometimes leaves out critical aspects of rational thinking and we are far less comprehensive than we might think we are. We remember things incorrectly or forget things often as well. Our brains may make up stories that join time points to create a sense of continuity, much like how they can make two horizontal lines look like one when they are close enough.
Rational thinking may therefore not be as "rational" as it seems. Perhaps we need to learn to accept and be more open about how our emotions influence the ways in which we think, since that is the reality anyway?
The only 1 flaw in Women....
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
The Two Magnet Ends Of A Relationship..
Whether it be love or a simple friendship, we all have our ideas on how we want to pursue these relationships. Such idealism is not without its danger though. More often than not, we are hurt because the ideals we hold true so strongly don't work in a reality we live in.
It feels like every time we work so hard to build a relationship based upon the ideals that we consider honorable and just or romantic and true, our world gets turned over and proven wrong. Condemning us to the bitter isolated melancholy that is our pride humiliated and our hopes in ruin. A long time ago, I was just another face hurt by having my ideals spat in my own face. Today, it's a whole different story.
It just takes a while to realise that no matter how much we put stock into the ideals that friends should be there when we need them or that love is the basis for all relationships, those ideals can't exist in the real world. They may work for some people lucky enough to not have been hurt, but for the rest of us who do live our lives as it should, those hopes are seem nothing more than fragile strings in a freak storm.
A recent conversation with an old friend brought out the contrasting ideals of what I used to believe and what I hold on to now. How we pursue our ideals with as much faith and conviction as possible so that its purity isn't corrupted in the face of reality, shattering its meaning, and thus all we have worked for. In her mind, she will keep holding on to her beliefs regardless of all the factors that serve to corrupt how she thinks love and friendship should be. Like a shining beacon in the night, she strives to fight the death of common sense and romanticism by casting aside everything that serves to destroy it like our greed and selfishness.
In retrospect, I have embraced that corruption, impurity and darkness that society has deemed a hindrance to their ideals of the perfect friendship or relationship. I accept that no matter what we do, people will always remain human. Our greed and selfishness for the moments are proof of that humanity. So rather than casting aside what makes us who we are, I believe that we have to focus on what we do best and compensate for what we lack. Rather than starting a paradise in which you cast away the undesirables, you start with a barren desolate plot in which you build your perfect garden.
Roughly translated though it means that instead of trying to fit in people to our ideals of right and wrong, we figure that everyone is screwed up anyway and make do with them as friends or lovers by filling in the gaps in which they lack. That way, we're disappointed less if people do what people tend to do because we were expecting them to ruin a good thing. At the same time, the moments can be enjoyed for what they are, even surprising us that they lasted so long for what its worth.
In some ways, I value what my friend is doing because it was exactly what I used to do in days past, fighting to preserve the sanctity of my beliefs and I succeeded in keeping it afloat for as long as possible before it all came crashing down on me. She is doing what I could not do and I respect her wholly for that. I just stand by my way doing things now. Rewriting the concepts of friendship and love to suit not what I want, but what I see the world is. In understanding and accepting the worst in us, can we possibly hope to build the best that we are capable of.
Maybe we're not too different in the way we both stand by our beliefs. Just polar opposites of the same desires for love and a connection to our own kind, to which I don't think any one else would shy away either. We all do what we think is best for the sake of never being alone and that probably connects us better in ways that no of our concocted beliefs can ever come close to achieving. If only that alone could be the basis for friendships around the world, peace would be an understatement of an achievement.
Of course though, the world doesn't work that way either.
Oh well.
It feels like every time we work so hard to build a relationship based upon the ideals that we consider honorable and just or romantic and true, our world gets turned over and proven wrong. Condemning us to the bitter isolated melancholy that is our pride humiliated and our hopes in ruin. A long time ago, I was just another face hurt by having my ideals spat in my own face. Today, it's a whole different story.
It just takes a while to realise that no matter how much we put stock into the ideals that friends should be there when we need them or that love is the basis for all relationships, those ideals can't exist in the real world. They may work for some people lucky enough to not have been hurt, but for the rest of us who do live our lives as it should, those hopes are seem nothing more than fragile strings in a freak storm.
A recent conversation with an old friend brought out the contrasting ideals of what I used to believe and what I hold on to now. How we pursue our ideals with as much faith and conviction as possible so that its purity isn't corrupted in the face of reality, shattering its meaning, and thus all we have worked for. In her mind, she will keep holding on to her beliefs regardless of all the factors that serve to corrupt how she thinks love and friendship should be. Like a shining beacon in the night, she strives to fight the death of common sense and romanticism by casting aside everything that serves to destroy it like our greed and selfishness.
In retrospect, I have embraced that corruption, impurity and darkness that society has deemed a hindrance to their ideals of the perfect friendship or relationship. I accept that no matter what we do, people will always remain human. Our greed and selfishness for the moments are proof of that humanity. So rather than casting aside what makes us who we are, I believe that we have to focus on what we do best and compensate for what we lack. Rather than starting a paradise in which you cast away the undesirables, you start with a barren desolate plot in which you build your perfect garden.
Roughly translated though it means that instead of trying to fit in people to our ideals of right and wrong, we figure that everyone is screwed up anyway and make do with them as friends or lovers by filling in the gaps in which they lack. That way, we're disappointed less if people do what people tend to do because we were expecting them to ruin a good thing. At the same time, the moments can be enjoyed for what they are, even surprising us that they lasted so long for what its worth.
In some ways, I value what my friend is doing because it was exactly what I used to do in days past, fighting to preserve the sanctity of my beliefs and I succeeded in keeping it afloat for as long as possible before it all came crashing down on me. She is doing what I could not do and I respect her wholly for that. I just stand by my way doing things now. Rewriting the concepts of friendship and love to suit not what I want, but what I see the world is. In understanding and accepting the worst in us, can we possibly hope to build the best that we are capable of.
Maybe we're not too different in the way we both stand by our beliefs. Just polar opposites of the same desires for love and a connection to our own kind, to which I don't think any one else would shy away either. We all do what we think is best for the sake of never being alone and that probably connects us better in ways that no of our concocted beliefs can ever come close to achieving. If only that alone could be the basis for friendships around the world, peace would be an understatement of an achievement.
Of course though, the world doesn't work that way either.
Oh well.
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About Me
- Cheeky Chopz:
- This is a hard question to answer because you can often sound arrogant or fear sounding arrogant, but it is important to realize it before you can decide what you want to do with your life. I believe that what is unique about me is my dream to be out in the world. I know a lot of people say that they want to travel and see the world, but I want to live everywhere and emmerse myself in every culture that I can. The feeling is more than just a daydream, it's so strong that even trying to imagine my life any differently makes me cringe and feel like it wouldn't be a life that I would want to live. I understand that everything may not work out as I plan it, and I have practically nothing planned out, and that life will take me to some unexpected places, but I feel like I have to try as hard as I can to get the life that I want anyway. I just know that I am unique in this respect because I haven't talked to anyone who has felt the same way that I have. I don't want to make it sound like I don't want some of the traditional things in life but....
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高血圧の数値と心筋梗塞になるリスク4 years ago
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The Writing's on the Wall6 years ago
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Bacterial Infection6 years ago
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Crooked Rib on Flickr14 years ago
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