Today I went for a meeting at ISD for the coming Eid program, and guess what? I ended up with the special task role, designing posters-banners etc.. Duh who said guys can't be creative enough,huh? Now I'm stuck with a Tuesday deadline to submit these and I've another meeting for a seminar on Monday. Right now I am feeling the urge of running away with all these stress and go hide in a chalet where no one can find me. But wait a second!!?
Isn't it me who's putting me in such stressful schedule? On top I've to run my ass red during rugby training.. Pfff soo much responsibilities at such a young age will make my arteries burst sooner or later. Well I would advice myself to slow down but somehow I'm a very stubborn guy. Having a stressful schedule and life is becoming so boring and just like a military routine doesn't combine with a nomadic guy like me, i mean for the meantime. Hell I want to get a job and start earning some real bucks like before! Fate doesn't smile at you all the time so you need to learn about realities the hard ways. Guess the only moment I feel relaxed is when I'm listening to "Painted Memories" and trying to grind the song from my acoustic guitar. Don't ask me, I'm no good but it makes me happy hearing my roomates shouting after every 5mins :"Shut the fuck up dude"! " Go play your rattle drum outside".
Did you ever know that there's something called "spontaneous recovery" in human's pyschological system? Well I've read about it but guess I've finally experienced it. No matter how hard one can deny that he moved on in life, something or someone in the past will always be haunting you whether you want it or not. Definitely I'm not a playboy, I'm just someone who likes to offer his services! Lol how nasty that sounds but it ain't when you encounter the realities. Even if you try how much to be the one-man show, one-woman world, caring, loving, affectionate, passionate or whatever, it won't ever walk because human is just another imperfect creature who can't appreciate the real blessings when bestowed upon them. Sarcastic and pathetic human beings, how can we be so lame in identifying the real blessings of our life?
Guess I'm better off in my dark ways and I need to only find a solution to spice up this living-dead corpse's life before i tuned myself into a depression mode which it isn't that far. As the saying goes, "we need to break more than one egg to make a delicious omelette", how many more do I need to break before I reach to the extinction phase?! Guess the future will tell us soon...
Love seeketh not itself to please, but for another gives its ease.
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